Thursday, April 27, 2017

Way too Long!

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As I have been preparing to write this week I kept finding myself in a funk. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Why was I having writer's block and not liking what I had been writing. I have tried to write this weeks post 4 times over the past week and a half and I kept coming up short. A couple of the times I liked where my head was going but my writing was not up to snuff.

The last few weeks we have been busy getting ready for Baby number 3, thinking about work situations, going through Financial Peace University, between Kristin and I we have 5 jobs that we are rotating through, and some blah weather. We have been busy, but not in a good way. There has been a lot less fun overall the last few weeks.

I am very much a feeler type personality and I can swing like a kid at a park with how I feel. Knowing this helps me stay aware of my feelings so that I don't retreat to the dark parts of the heart and completely ignore the truth. In the past, when things were tough like this I would either lash out or go into a shell and start believing lies about not being good enough and not being able to handle things and the ever present need for perfection. At times, it feels like there is so much to do and so much going on, that all I want to do is retreat, and then it dawned on me, I haven't been meeting my needs as an introvert.

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Someone who is an introvert needs to find time to have quiet alone time, I try to do this at night when everyone is in bed but I find myself so tired that I don't take time, I fall asleep. The other me times that I have had has been when I was brewing on Good Friday and.......that's it. That recharging time happens when I get to do something I enjoy and at night that's hard because I'm tired, the day is long and I retreat to watching a show because the things I like to do to recharge I can't do late at night, it makes too much noise or we don't have a working TV (playing video games..in case you were wondering, which I don't even do that much either when the TV was working).

What can I do differently? I'm not sure, I know that if I try to add more to my schedule, I will have to take something away and right now, I don't know what that would be, so for now, I think I will just have to try to recharge when everyone has gone to bed and not fall asleep on the couch myself. I also don't want to take away from family time that we have together. I see the kids for 20 minutes in the morning and then 1:30 before bed because I am out, working. So taking away that time is not good either.

Just to be clear, I love my life and wouldn't change anything...other than the amount of student loans we have. I am just struggling with find ways to recharge in this season of life.

What some things that you do to recharge yourself? Let me know in the comment section below

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